Handicap Part 2

We asked Wei Kwang :

Q: 什么动物天生残废？











Then Shaun asnwered : "Foong Jing Xian!"

We were smiling at him after giving the "not funny" look. But suddenly the entire atmosphere changed when -









Out of nowhere, Loke Voon Ho started laughing hysterically. He was laughing his ass off. We couldn't stand his cruelty anymore and joined him.



To Foong Jing Xian :

No offence, Foong. It's just a joke. It may be true, it may be not, but what im sure of that it is a joke. We didn't laugh at you. At first.

handicap

Q: 什么东西天生残废？










A: 龙虾 (聋瞎)




*from Kenny Ng

Low quality post -_-

Question : You are in a boat in the middle of a river.
You have 2 Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette.
You don't have anything else with you in the boat.


How will you do it?


Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water.
So the boat will become LIGHTER........
using this LIGHTER you can light up the other Cigarette





Q: What is green and says "Im a frog."

A: A talking frog !

The La La Salesman

My father told us :

When we went to the furniture shop just now, there was this salesman who made me feel like not buying our furniture from there. When we went in, he introduced himself, he said, "I am Mr. Liew" (Wah, action!)

Later, when i found a nice sofa and asked him, "Can you give me some discount for this?"

He say, "This one already got 20% discount"

Then i said, "Can you give me more discount?"
























He told me, "Nevermind. You tell me your budget lah. I'll find another sofa for you."

Ze B'day Bash !

Since last year , we have never forgotten or rather more , LET GO of someone's birthday , everytime , we have a BIRTHDAY BASH for them as we are all very good and sincere friends , last week was Wei Kawng's turn for his Birthday Bash after we had futsal in the morning ... enJOY ! ( Very blurry and messy , but you'll be able to see Wei Kwang in his undies , watch at your own risk )

Japanese Toilet Training for Kids

Notice how the BOY pisses while sitting down

Kar Jun & Teck Huat : How To Destroy the Virus in You Computer Part 1 & 2

26/7 : Part 2 updated


Firstly, i woud like to say that Teck Huat is the quiet type and Kar Jun is the 1st or 2nd in the whole form.


I only heard the convo halfway.


Kar Jun :

You don't on the computer for one month will die or not? I tell you ah . . . you off your computer for one month the virus sure die. Beause they got no food to eat!


Teck Huat :

But the virus can puasa (fast) . . .


Kar Jun :

Nevermind. Then you off it for 1 year lah. Then the virus will die from malnutrition. Like beri-beri ah . . . marasmus ah . . . rickets ah . . .



Part 2 : The Following Day



Kar Jun :

Are you sure 1 antivirus is good enough? Work 24 hours a day. . Somemore no bonus.


Teck Huat :

My antivirus software (BitDefender) got win ICSA award . . .


Kar Jun :

1 where got enough? Should at least have 2 --- One morning shift one night shift. If he want to go shopping then how?


Teck Huat :

Antivirus how to go shopping . . .



















Kar Jun :

Neh --- Got eBay ma.

Q: Why cant the skeleton go to the school's prom ??

A: Because he have no-body to go with.





Q: Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side?

A: He's all-right now




I went to the butcher's yesterday, and bet him fifty dollars that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf.

He said, 'no, the steaks are too high."

Joy at the Chinese Class 2

It was the holidays and we were to go back to school for extra classes.

Our teacher brought some tea for us to drink. Then a teacher walked past our class and our teacher offered her some tea.


She said : "Wah, very delicious ah . . . What type of tea is this? Chinese tea?"


Our teacher replied : "No,



















Taiwan tea."


=====


You'll need to understand Bahasa Melayu and Mandarin for this next one.


During Chinese class, Johnny suddenly asked everyone : "Who is anak emas here?"


















哈哈! 你是'金'子!

Technology and Ian's question

Yesterday in school , during eanligh period , we were asked to do an essay exercise which offered 5 titles to choose from and one of it was...

' Technology is making man lazy. Discuss '




Then I heard Ian telling Ryan who were both sitting at the back of me " Why technology making man lazy ? Why man only ? Woman won't get lazy ah ? "

Shaun : I'm Sorry

It wad a really hot day in school and everyone was sweating.


Me : It's so HOT today!


Shaun [pats me on the back] : "I'm sorry"

Fastest Guitar Play - Flight of the Bumblebee

Big Big Blunders : Johnny Ho (Plus an extra bonus = Ho ho ho)

A group of boys were teasing each other. Halfway through, this happened.


A : "Your brain proess so slow."

B : "But my brain is Pentium 5."

A : "So what . . My brain Pentium 6."

Johnny Ho : "Mine is Vista!"




On an unrelated topic,

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,311797,00.html

Here's an extract :

SYDNEY,Australia — He is an unlikely revolutionary, but this Christmas, Santa is a rebel with a claus.

He is having the last laugh on political correctness — and it's a great big fat belly laugh.

Santas across Sydney, Australia, are rebelling against attempts to ban their traditional greeting of "ho, ho, ho" in favor of "ha, ha, ha."

Recruitment firm Westaff — which supplies hundreds of Santas across the country — has told its trainees that the "ho ho ho" phrase could frighten children and could even be derogatory to women.

Two Santa hopefuls reportedly quit the course because of the hullabaloo of the ho, ho, ho.

One would-be Santa has told The Daily Telegraph he was taught not to use "ho, ho, ho" because it was too close to the American slang for prostitute. He also quit.

"Gimme a break," said Julie Gale, who runs a campaign against sexualizing children called Kids Free 2B Kids. "We are talking about little kids who do not understand that 'ho, ho, ho' has any other connotation, and nor should they."

"Leave Santa alone," she added.

Westfield's Santas are recruited and trained by RegProm Marketing and they will be "ho, ho, ho-ing," a Westfield spokeswoman said.

"Part of our advice to our Santas is that they should be mindful of children having their first Santa experience," she added. "We ask our Santas to try techniques such as lowering their tone of voice and using 'ha, ha, ha' to encourage the children to come forward and meet Santa. We wish you and your family a very merry Christmas."

LOL WTH??

For some who may not know, "ho" is a slang for whore.

Big Chicken, Small Chicken

One day, Ali went to a restaurant and ordered a Chicken Chop


When his Chicken Chop was served, he was shocked at it's size.

He called the waiter and complained:

" Why this chicken so small, yesterday I ordered the same thing but it was two times bigger than this."


The waiter ask : Where did you seat yesterday ?

Ali : There, right beside the window. But wad does it got to do with the size of the chicken.


Waiter : Of course it does. Our manager told us to serve big portions to customer that seat beside the window, so that passer-bys can see.

17+ Jokes (read at your own risk)

*Disclaimer - Not my jokes , its funny and therefore posted here as an obscene label/section has already been set-up , if you find these jokes offensive for any reason , please let me know so I can remove it , DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SOMEONE OF PURITY LIKE PANG YOKE FEI *







John is engaged to Sara , finally the day came when John finally got to go to Sara's house and meet the family. When John first walked in to the house , he noticed Sara's SUPER HOT sister Lilly. Through out the night , Lilly was staring at John and John was not at all oblivious to this but pretended like he didn't know.


This went on for 2 months before John and Sara decided to get married. Two days before the marriage , John went over to Sara's house for the final checks on the wedding plans. Upon reaching the house , John went up to the door and knocked and was greeted by Lilly , Lilly invited him in and said " My whole family are out with Sara getting her ready for the big day and will be back in two hours , its just you and me now " .



John then said " No worries , I'll sit here and read te papers until they come home " and went over to the sofa and sat. 5 minutes later , Lilly went up to John , and ran her hand over his shoulders and said , " If you need anything , I'll be in my room , and just so you know , I find you very attractive and would do anything for you " and then went upstairs.


John sat there for 2 minutes before standing up and walking to the main door and went out towards his car where upon exiting the house , he saw his father-in-law walking towards him . His father-in-law cried and hugged John and said " Well done my son , you have passed our family's loyalty test towards my daughter Sara , it was a very wise choice for you to walk out of the house and not give in to lust , welcome to the family " .


John and Sara got married and lived happily ever after.


What's the moral of the story ?
Keep your condoms in your car !













It was a fine day in Superhero land , Superman was flying around the neighbourhood scouting for baddies when he suddenly flew across an apartment and noticed through one of the open windows that Wonder Woman was lying on her bed without any clothes on and since he always had a thing for Wonder Woman , he used his lightning speed and flew in and satisfied himself and flew out and away all in less then 2 seconds

Meanwhile , Wonder Woman did not have a clue what just happened although she noticed something different and asked " What just happened ? "










A voice came out " Some gay b******d just sodomised me ! "
It was Invinsible man who was all the while on top of wonder woman !

Funny Emoticon Combos - Brought to life

Here's a list of emoticons we are using to make our combos :






Look what they have made it into :

(Not sure who, could've been Ian, Ken Chang or Lester or someone else.)








And look what Tanzy (his is the 1st one) and I did :











Here's a candid shot we had when Shaun called Wei Kwang and he turned around only to see the camera pointed at him :















But nothing beats Lester's and Tun Hong's creativity.

Ahaha! Got aura somemore!

Plus, they even took the time to write down our blog url!

Originally there were only "auras"(reflections) below his hand. But thanks to Photoshop magic and a bit of patience . . .

The Funniest Moral Class So Far

This is a big case of unintentional (intentional) insults

The teacher come it 15 minutes late. This was very unlike her. She was never late nor did she ever missed a class.



Teacher :


Maaf, hari ini cikgu masuk lewat kerana terpaksa menghadiri ceramah.

Sorry, today I am late for class because I had to attend a lecture.



Tanzy [answered back like a true hooligan]:


Cikgu diampunkan.

You are forgiven.



Later she scolded the class for doing badly in the mid term exams.



Teacher :


Kamu ini bukan binatang, kamu boleh faham bahasa, binatang tak boleh.
Kamu ada makan kayu tak?

You all are not animals. You all can understand language(English). Animals can't.
Do YOU eat wood?



(Was she implying that animals eat wood?)



Later, she continued :

I always tell myself. You, 5 K (5K class), are not retarded. Macam Foong . . . . . . pun

I always tell myself. You, 5 K (5K class), are not retarded. Even Foong . . . . . . isn't.



Finally, she 'apologised' to us :

Saya tadi bukan marah, bagi contoh sahaja.

I wasn't scolding just now, only giving examples.

Lee Meng : The 1.2 Million House

(This happened a long time ago so i've forgotten most of the details. But the main priceless detail remains fresh in my mind.)


We were walking with Ah Meng up a hill, towards his residential area.



Ah Meng pointed to a house and started commenting :


"I tell you ah this house is VERY BIG. In a gated commuity some more. Got nice view. You guess selling for how much?

It is worth 1.2 million you know? (Thats 6 zeros man) So expensive!



So I told him :

Why don't you buy it and stay there if it's so good?



Ah Meng :

"It is not for sale now.

But sometimes they throw rubbish into the empty land behind the house."




I admit. I was impressed. But I wondered how he knew about the rubbish.














5 minutes later Ah Meng into that VERY SAME house he was talking about. It's his.

I thought again about throwing rubbish into the empty land . . .

Physics

Q 5(b) Does the object continue to move after i comes to rest ? If yes, how high will it go up the slope before it comes to rest.


A : No. There is an elephant in the way.


HAhah
the student got frustrated after answering halfway and comes up with a brilliant idea.
I give him full marks if I'm his teacher. Elephant is cute too.

Ask Dogbert - Part 1

Ask Dogbert
============

Dogbert answers your tough questions with tough love.

============

Dear Dogbert,

Who should I vote for in the presidential election?

Dwayne


Dear Drain,

Your vote only helps if you are smarter than the average voter. In other words, the country will be okay if you sit this one out.

Sincerely,


Dogbert

============

Dear Dogbert,

How can I quickly lose 20 pounds of ugly fat?

Craig


Dear Crud,

Try cutting off your head. Yes, I know it’s an old joke. But that doesn’t make it bad advice.


Sincerely,


Dogbert

============

Dear Dogbert,

How can I make money off of this whole global warming thing?

Albert


Dear Allbutt,

Try buying life insurance and standing neck-deep in the ocean.

Sincerely,


Dogbert

============

Dear Dogbert,

There's a girl I like that probably doesn't like me. There's another girl that likes me a lot, but I only like her a little. Assuming they are both relatively attractive, which should I go for?

Tim


Dear Tomb,

The one who likes you obviously has some perception problems. That sort of thing doesn't get better. Go for the one who probably doesn't like you and hope you get lucky and hit a window where she wants to get revenge on her ex.

Sincerely,


Dogbert

Custard ?

Sardarji is at a feast arranged by the Queen of England.


One of the dignitaries present requests the Queen, "Pass the Wine you Divine !".


Sardarji thought - "How poetic and intelligent!".

Sardarji doesn't want to be left out, so, he also wants to say a rhyming sentence.

After thinking awhile,
he asks the British ambassador sitting next to him,


"Pass the custard you bastard".

Black sheep...

A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science. One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!" The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion." The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about that white child."

Ungliest Woman

Three men were waiting at Heaven's Gate. God says, "OK, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women in the universe."

So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Poof ! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen. The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Poof ! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe.

So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man. The first two guys say in unison, "How did you land with that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women?" He nudges the babe and says, "Tell them."


She says to the first two guys, "I lied."

The Dilbert Newsletter 68.0 - Part 1

TRUE TALES OF INDUHVIDUALS
===========================

Here are some true tales of people who put the duh in induhvidual.



"Locally we have a grocery chain called Bi-Lo. We were sitting around the office one day talking about living on farms and drinking milk from the cows.

One girl said she wouldn't drink milk from a cow, only milk from Bi-Lo. The stunned silence was deafening."



"My business partner and his wife were traveling out west and decided to visit Hoover Dam.
As they neared this great engineering feat she noticed all the power lines extending from the dam and commented to him, 'Gee, I never would have guessed it takes so much power to run a dam."

Chee Foong : Joker - Part 2

Johnny : Weh! Joker from Batman die already you know!


Chee Foong : How you knew he died? HE TELL YOU AH?

Foo - Joker (Batman)

Today in physics class , Wei han asked " How did the actor for The Joker of the new batman movie die (heath ledger) ?




Foo , not knowing how said " He act as Joker create too much jokes laugh die "

Sadarji : "Racist? Serve Him Right!"

2 Sadarjis were having their holidays in Malaysia. B went into a souvenir shop and came out right away. So A was confused.



A : Why did you walk out of the shop right after you went in?


B : That shopkeeper is a racist! Right after I stepped into his shop, he had to close it. I better buy my souvenirs from the other shop over there insted of from this racist.


A : Are you sure he closed right after you entered?


B : Yes! I remember. When I went in the shop there's a sign hanging on the door that says 'Open'. After I went in for 3 seconds and turned around, I saw the 'Closed' sign instead. WTH, he change the sign so fast, I didn't even notice.


A : You did the right thing. Serve him right for being a racist!

Criminals

<_kr4m3r> : So many f**ucking criminals, its bullshit



foniks`> : heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die

foniks`> : and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"

foniks`> : what'd u think they'd say?
















foszor[bg]> : something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"

Archers

Once upon a time, there was an archery contest.

The first archer, wearing a cape covering his face, lines up in position…

He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow, which finds the center of the target.
Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM…… WILLIAM TELL!!! The crowd cheers!

The second archer with a long cape lines up in position.He fires his arrow, which hits the center and cuts WILLIAM TELLS’s arrow into two!!!He takes off his cape and screams: I AM……ROBIN HOOD!!!!! The crowd cheers!!

Finally, the third archer in cape lines up in position…

He fires his arrow!! It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!!

Then the man takes off his cape and screams:


"I AM…… SORRY."

IQ Question! Test Your IQ Here Right Now!

I came up with an IQ question all by myself! Here it is :

"Find the suitable word that comes next in the series."

For Example,

1. Big
2. Bigger
3. ???

The superlative of big is biggest. It's easy. Just add a "-est" behind the word.

The real question will be more challenging.







Here's the real question :




"Find the suitable word that comes next in the series."

1. Pin
2. Pinner
3. ???

What's comes next?


(Remember to say it out aloud to make it easier to obtain an accurate answer!)


You thinking what i'm thinking? *wink* *wink*







PS : It came to my mind when the physics teacher repeated "Thinnest copper wire" a few times, stressing on the word "Thinnest" , "Thinnest", "Thinnest". =D

Voon Ho : 唐诗

Our Chinese language teacher was asking us :


"什么是唐诗的特征?"

"What is the speciality/features of Tang Dynasty poetry?"


(For example, it should be "有押韵/rhymes")





Smart Voon Ho answered:

"很甜"

"Very Sweet"

("Tang" sounds the same as sugar in Chinese)

Shuffler vs Breakdancer : The Series

11/7

Look what i've found on Youtube! AHAHA another angle and a high quality version of The Comedy!

21/6 :

Part 3 : The Parody is ready!!!


18/6 :

Shufflers and breakdancers from Class 5 Kensett displaying their talent on Teachers' Day.

This took about 10-11 hours altogether. ';.;' Seriously. Cause i don't know anything.

When i told Shaun about this, Shaun said : "Good! You're dedicated to Der Book." =.=

PS : Part 2 is waaay better






Shuffler vs Breakdancer : Part 1/2






Shuffler vs Breakdancer Part 2/2





Shuffler vs Breakdancer Part 3 : The Parody




Isn't it supposed to be Part 3/2, you may think. But it doesn't exist. Unles you failed your maths like Ryan did, last time. =D.


Another angle + High quality version of The Comedy!




Please give me some comments / ratings on Youtube!

Btw, there's a comment on Part 2 :

duccyz :

This is terrible man wtf is with the breaker =="
u do relise that u cant battle with 2 different styles=="

buh the first shuffler from part one was FUNNY MAN its so bad i feel sorry for him

My First Time in a Lighting Shop : Maruzen

Wow.

I've just been to a lighting shop for the first time in my life and what I will be seeing later was totally unexpected and out of this world.





Wah . . so many types of lamps. But those are not all. there's also the :

"Casper Lamp"



"Candle-Lamp"



Duno what lamp is this ._.



This one looks more like a toilet bowl~






They even have lamps that belong in a castle

That's not all. They also sell many Chinese stuff , like :

Guy with the calmest expression ever

How you doin' ? - Joey Tribiani

Even got Matthew Ooi!



Also got Emo Shaun!

However, there's one particular lamp I've spotted that is above the rest - A toilet lamp.


It's so good that I will not hesitate to buy it for any hot chick to put in her toilet.

You know, to admire the lamp while having a relaxing bath or shower.


The strange thing is that looks so normal, unexpensive, simple, unelegant mosy importantly, forgettable for a lamp which is to be given to a hot chick.


Why in the world would I want such a lamp? You will know why after I've shown it to you :





Without further ado, here is The Lamp :D

Can you see it?

Can you see the best toilet lamp ever?

No? I'll give you another angle.

How about now?

Spotted THE BEST toilet lamp ever?














Let me point it out to you then.








.








.









.

:D :P =D =P XD XP

Ahahaha!

Lame Jokes Time...

Where cant a fish move because it has no more power ?



IKANO POWER CENTRE
(Ikan no power centre)

Why is Osama two-thirds (2/3) of a woman ?

Because he is a WanTed man (1/3)

Parking Fine

Ah Beng went to his car and saw a "Parking Fine" ticket.


Then he wrote "thanks for the compliment" behind the ticket and stick it at a pole.




enJOYing Sunday

Husband: Today is Sunday and I've decided to enjoy it. So, I brought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why 3 tickets ??

Husband: 1 for you and 2 for your parents.



What Sex

One Sardar was filling up an application form for a job.
He filled the columns for NAMES, AGE, ADDRESS and etc.

Then the column SEX.
He wasn't sure what to write there. After much thinking he wrote TWICE A WEEK.

Someone saw what he wrote in the form and told him he was wrong, and he should fill in either male or female.

Again the sardar thought for a long time before writing BOTH, BUT PREFERABLY FEMALE.

A Video I Found In My Teacher's Thumbdrive : Funny Babies and Children !!!

When I opened my teacher's thumbdrive originally given to me to help her do work, look what I've stumbled upon :



The ending is the best!!!







Thank Pn Chong SL for the vid she "gave" me. AHAHAHAHA!

A must Watch , AMAZING BRICK BREAKING , watch till the end !

Illiterate ?

illiterate is better than being dumb

Voon Ho : Family Day

We were bickering on what we should sell on the upcoming Family Day.


Someone suggested that we sell Choclate Cakes.




Then Voon Ho said :


"You can MAKE you own one"

Leo = Man of Steel

We were outside the Pavillion GSC after a movie and was talking while leaning on the railing when suddenly Leo realised he had **** of steel !

O yea , lazy to make to post , so here's another , saw this in a ' PAN MEEN ' shop near Bukit Segar......Anyone wants to try the french ? fried...

authors + joyees SUBWAY ONE-FOOTER + double meat DAY !

We had been planning it for a whole week and last Saturday after MBSSKL's Family Day .... Finally , we got to get a go at THE DREAM SUBWAY SANDWICH which is ONE-FOOT or 12 inches in length and also DOUBLE THE MEAT !



Well , Lester and Tanzy each got a ONE-FOOT plus DOUBLE MEAT B.M.T sandwich , I got a ONE-FOOT plus DOUBLE MEAT Terriyaki sandwich , Jie Xian and Wei Kwang shared a ONE-FOOT plus DOUBLE MEAT I forgot what sandwich , meld i think and Leo Wen Pul only ate a 6-incher and has regretted and wanting to try the ONE-FOOTER ever since.





Here's 3 out of 4 of the ONE-FOOTER's...





Here's Tanzy's sandwich....






My sandwich.....

All 4 ONE-FOOTER's...

Another....

Lester , getting high while taking the first bite into his first portion of teh ONE-FOOTER...

Jie Xian and Leo tucking in...

Wei Kwang getting all ' Godzilla'ed ' eating his first ever Subway sandwich.....

Tanzy starting his quest to finish the FOOT-LONG....

Me starting mine.....

Only mine wasn't cut into half cause i requested , so here's the whole in my hand...

Jie Xian tends to be quite fussy about what he wants in food , so thus , probably SUBWAY's MOST PECULIAR LOOKING SANDWICH EVER was born because he was so fussy about what he wanted , no veggies and like x8 olives....

Does this look appetising ?....

Then Jie Xian took out a stash of OTAK-OTAK that he bought from the family day as he had too much coupon courtesy of his mom wanting to donate a hundred bucks to the school(he sold 20bucks of coupons to Wei Kwang for ten and ended up having to think of ways to finish 80bucks in a couple of hours) , so there , his stash of 60 otak-otaks which he was kind enough to share a couple with us but then kept the rest for his family.....

BTW , he put ALL THOSE OTAK's in his bag and when he opened his bag , the smell of otak-otak's literally filled the whole SUBWAY joint and the sheet of paper in his bag was all wet from the steam from the otak's...

O YES , we did leave a hurricane of a mess behind...




In the end , Lester finished his Sandwich in GODLIKE speed and didn't look too full at all and I finished mine like 10 minutes later while Tanzy ate only a little more than half of it and couldnt continue so he finished it later in the cinema while watching Hancock ...

So there you are , the ONE-FOOTER adventure , if you are interested in going on a ONE-FOOTER challege / adventure yourselves , please do invite us too :D especially Leo who was talking about wanting it today for the whole day.

The Hand Of God

Meet Foo Tun God.





Foo Tun God was adapted from Tun Hong's quote from some time ago.


It started with a centipede he caught it a bottle which he named Foo Tun Pede, after shaking it around.


A few days later, Leo Wen Pul caught a cockroach and called it --- Leo Wen Croach .___.

Korean Comic : GOAL!!! . . . Shit ... Phew ..... SHIT!!!!!!

Phew, he almost hit the pile of dung . . .

Click here to see the ending!

"Honest"

The teacher was testing her students on the word "honest".


Teacher : "If I say Ah Seng is honest, what does that mean?"


Everyone knows that Ah Seng lies all the time. They were all laughing. But someone came up with a reply :



















"Teacher, it means that you're not."

Extract from a book i came across earlier

.....(The average human has 60,000 thoughts per day :; that's the average , Stephen Hawking has 6 million and Kevin Flederline , 6).......

Korean Comic : Sneaky sneaky ~~

Click here for the ending!

Wei Kwang : Funniest Essay Ever !!!!!! 最好笑的文章/作文!!!!

这是真的考试作答!

This is a REAL EXAM ANSWER by the almighty Wei Kwang. Seriously.


The question was a 完成故事. This was the given 开头.





Here's a snippet. It's directly after the beginning.





Here's the links to the essay.

• Page 1 - 第一页
  
• Page 2 - 第二页
• Page 3 - 第三页
• Page 4 - 第四页

Even the Vice President of the Prefect Board, Anthony Khoo couldn't stand laughing at his essay during class.

We all know he should be the School Captain as he is respected by all.
But it did not go that way cause he is not an ass kisser, if you know what I mean.



35 marks ...The worst part is i only got about 5 marks more than him, and the teacher even said :

"杰贤, 有进步了"

"You have improved"

---______----




Another of WK's wonderful answers :

In an essay some time ago, he used the phrase "法歌"


Bio paper 2 : Name the structure labelled X (the answer is corpus luteum, something like that)








His answer : Dragon Ball




I will translate it later. The sad part is that many Chinese terms do not convey the same message in english.


Actually, his mandarin is good but we all wonder what made him do this in his mid year examminations.


Thanks to Ian for helping me find the needed tool in Photoshop~

BAD player

Lee Meng, again........



one lame morning,

Lee Meng pop out and say " He is a BAD player"


Us: " Why ?"

Lee Meng points at a guy holding a racquet and say



"Becoz he plays BADminton"

Us: -____-

Odd team in Euro 2008

Today in school during recess , Srigiritharan came up to me suddenly and this conversation took place..




Sri : " *sigh* , see you la , Germany lose already la ! "

Me : " ?? I dont support Germany what "

Sri : " Then who you support ? "

Me : " *trying to be funny* Brazil "

Sri : " Haha , Brazil lose also right ? "

Me : " *wth ?* Euro got Brazil ke ? "

Sri : " O ! "

Everyone around starts to laugh

Sri : " I was talking about World Cup 2002 la actually you....."

Then his voice was drowned out by the laughters of the people around as he desperately tries to save himself , The End. Too bad i dont have a pic of Para's uncontrollable laughter upon hearing Sri's blurness

The Wonderful Cyber World

These are from a chat channel in mIRC


ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.

chrislmb> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.

ben174> : Where u work?

chrislmb> : I'm the Chief Technical Officer at LowerMyBills.com

*** Ben174 (BenWright@LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)






t-wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named Robert

rdawg20> you don't live in Hope Mills do you?

t-wolf> ya, why man?

rdawg20> lol, just wondering, was her name Alisson?

t-wolf> you m*th*r f**ker

Funny Signatures/Quotes You've Never Heard Of Before

None are mine.




"I tried setting my hotmail password to penis. It said it isn't long enough. :(



"I got kicked out of Barnes and Noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section."



"Where you from? Circus?"




"When a flat chested girl hugs you, she's holding you closer to her heart."






"You Enjoy Myself"








i8b4u : d-_-b

bonynomore : how u make that inverted b?

bonynomore : wait

bonynomore : never mind