Sarung

My Moral teacher was telling us a story.

"This is a story of my friend's friend la. He lives up in Cameron Highlands. Everyday, he will sleep on his small little mattress. Without fail, he will sleep in his sarung everyday."

"When he wakes up and changes into his working clothes, he will drop his sarung on the floor and put on his jeans. He just leaves his sarung on the floor in a circle. You know when you wear the sarung it's in a circle and it remains that way when you drop it? He simply leaves his sarung on the floor and goes off to work."

"So when he comes back home, you know what he does before he sleeps? He takes off his pants and jumps back into the circle and pulls up his sarung."

Teachers : Lame Jokes Time!

The topic of watching pirated DVDs came up in class.

Teacher :

哇,你们还买贩版来看啊?

Wah, you all still buy pirated DVDs to watch ah?

Students :

老师你没有?

Teacher, you don't buy?

Teacher [Shakes her head in disagreement] :

没有!

No!

The teacher starts to smile while we look in disbelief :

我借罢了.

I borrow only.

"我借DVD他们才x不会赚钱吗!"
Later, she made a stand citing that buying the DVDs will result in them making money. 

So, her borrowing is justified.

The Teacher's Response To Suicide

This is a true story.

Someone (Name withheld) was whining, "I want to kill myself la. I can't continue living this life anymore."



The teacher heard him and said out loudly :


"You want to commit suicide ah . . .















You beter go outside ah, I tell you!

Joy at the Chinese Class 2

It was the holidays and we were to go back to school for extra classes.

Our teacher brought some tea for us to drink. Then a teacher walked past our class and our teacher offered her some tea.


She said : "Wah, very delicious ah . . . What type of tea is this? Chinese tea?"


Our teacher replied : "No,



















Taiwan tea."


=====


You'll need to understand Bahasa Melayu and Mandarin for this next one.


During Chinese class, Johnny suddenly asked everyone : "Who is anak emas here?"


















哈哈! 你是'金'子!

The Funniest Moral Class So Far

This is a big case of unintentional (intentional) insults

The teacher come it 15 minutes late. This was very unlike her. She was never late nor did she ever missed a class.



Teacher :


Maaf, hari ini cikgu masuk lewat kerana terpaksa menghadiri ceramah.

Sorry, today I am late for class because I had to attend a lecture.



Tanzy [answered back like a true hooligan]:


Cikgu diampunkan.

You are forgiven.



Later she scolded the class for doing badly in the mid term exams.



Teacher :


Kamu ini bukan binatang, kamu boleh faham bahasa, binatang tak boleh.
Kamu ada makan kayu tak?

You all are not animals. You all can understand language(English). Animals can't.
Do YOU eat wood?



(Was she implying that animals eat wood?)



Later, she continued :

I always tell myself. You, 5 K (5K class), are not retarded. Macam Foong . . . . . . pun

I always tell myself. You, 5 K (5K class), are not retarded. Even Foong . . . . . . isn't.



Finally, she 'apologised' to us :

Saya tadi bukan marah, bagi contoh sahaja.

I wasn't scolding just now, only giving examples.

Teacher : Jetpack

A teacher was talking to our photography club's chairman, Leo.

Teacher : Save the pictures for me in the what ah ? J-Jetpack format ah? So that it's easy la.

Leo : What jetpack???

Teacher : Jetpack la you dont know meh? The format la!

Leo : OH! JAY-peg /JPEG la teacher!

Teacher : Yes ah? I thought it's jetpack. You sure its jay-pack?

Leo : Yes la!

Physics Teacher in another school

Was talking about physics teacher being weird or a problem in our school (read the posts about OUR/MY physics teacher ) with my cousin and he told me that one day his fat physics teacher had an argument with his wife and guess what happened ?


Mr.Physics spent two nights sleeping in the school physics lab

Shift

Yesterday in school , during our physics paper , one question had an error where the pictures of the two different light bulbs were mixed up and had to be shifted to replace each other (the right pic goes to the left , the left pic goes to the right) , then our physics teacher (not mentioning names) came in to tell us of the correction and then started to write the correction on the white board , instead of writing shift he started writing ... S....W...I...

then he paused to think for a while , i think this was whats going through his head " hmmm.... sif sif , how to spial sif ah ? my england is so powderful everytime aso i scold the sudents with my bombiastick enlish , must not ask them how to spial , let's see , sif sif , aiyo , its shwif i think .."


And then , he completed the sentence on the white board


SWIFT THE PICTURES


english yang canggih

Ms.Yap .... Yes again

Today , in school , it was revision period for the students who were not taking the mandarin exam. I was in a 'study group ' that consisted of Leo , Tanzy and Set Wai Hong.

For two of the periods , Ms.Yap was the teacher in charge and she kept on bugging us although the rest of the class were more noisy kinda did a triple , saying something lame three times in a period.

First , she went over to Matthew who brought an all-red Man U sling bag and she asked Matthew " Why is your bag so red ? Chinese New Year ah ? "

Second , she came over again , and Leo tried to distract her by saying he was hungry and she said " You're hungry , eat your own fingers la "

Then , before she left the class she said " 5K and 5C , you're very noisy , next door are having an exam , don't be so noisy or NOISERER "

??? is that a word ???

Speak with proper structure or else...

Our pricipal once , in an angry mood (all the time ) made an announcement on caning cc goers , this was part of his speech

" You better not visit the cybercafe , this time I won't let other teacher's cane you ...

and then...

" I make sure this time I'll cane MYSELF , and I will make sure i cane until it bleeds "

[ Students were trying thier best to hold on and not burst into laughter ]

Funky english

This is a funky line by one of our teachers , the physics teacher , but i'm not mentioning any names , it just rhymes with ong and tong and can mean undies

" Boy , why you keep talking ? Your're disturbing your friends who want to learn ! How can you be so sarcastic ? "

Ms.Yap , lamest teacher ever..

One day , in form 4 , Ms.Yap was teaching math when she came to the topic involving tabulation/table , she then touched the front table and went " not this table ah , the table in your book ok "



One day , also in form 4 , while teaching , Ms.Yap just went , what is ten plus ten plus ten ?
One student answered thirty
And she said , " no its tententen ! "



One day , in form 5 this time , this year , she asked Siah Say Yeong a question and he kept quiet and she said " Say Yeong must change your name to Quiet Yeong dy "



Last week , while teaching , someone asked if he can use a calculator to find the answer for a certain topic and Ms.Yap said " If you use the calculator to calculate the number of bases , I will give marks to the calculator not you "