Ask Dogbert - Part 1

Ask Dogbert
============

Dogbert answers your tough questions with tough love.

============

Dear Dogbert,

Who should I vote for in the presidential election?

Dwayne


Dear Drain,

Your vote only helps if you are smarter than the average voter. In other words, the country will be okay if you sit this one out.

Sincerely,


Dogbert

============

Dear Dogbert,

How can I quickly lose 20 pounds of ugly fat?

Craig


Dear Crud,

Try cutting off your head. Yes, I know it’s an old joke. But that doesn’t make it bad advice.


Sincerely,


Dogbert

============

Dear Dogbert,

How can I make money off of this whole global warming thing?

Albert


Dear Allbutt,

Try buying life insurance and standing neck-deep in the ocean.

Sincerely,


Dogbert

============

Dear Dogbert,

There's a girl I like that probably doesn't like me. There's another girl that likes me a lot, but I only like her a little. Assuming they are both relatively attractive, which should I go for?

Tim


Dear Tomb,

The one who likes you obviously has some perception problems. That sort of thing doesn't get better. Go for the one who probably doesn't like you and hope you get lucky and hit a window where she wants to get revenge on her ex.

Sincerely,


Dogbert

The Dilbert Newsletter 68.0 - Part 1

TRUE TALES OF INDUHVIDUALS
===========================

Here are some true tales of people who put the duh in induhvidual.



"Locally we have a grocery chain called Bi-Lo. We were sitting around the office one day talking about living on farms and drinking milk from the cows.

One girl said she wouldn't drink milk from a cow, only milk from Bi-Lo. The stunned silence was deafening."



"My business partner and his wife were traveling out west and decided to visit Hoover Dam.
As they neared this great engineering feat she noticed all the power lines extending from the dam and commented to him, 'Gee, I never would have guessed it takes so much power to run a dam."