Window shopping

one day, KC, les,Ryan and me went to Lowyat Plaza......

Me: wad u all wanna buy ?

Ryan: Nothing

Me: Juz window shopping


den the Ryan's lameness kicks in.....and he says....


Ryan: U wanna buy Windows 95 or 98 ?

den we both laughed

Ryan: u cant say that u're window shopping in Lowyat...ppl will thought u wanna buy Windows.

hahaha


to neutralize de lameness of this post

here's a funny 1



Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn’t feel like waking up that morning. I managed to pull myself together and go downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.” I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids… They will remember.

My kids came trampling down the stairs to breakfast, ate their breakfast, and didn’t say a word to me. So when I made it out of the house and started for work, I felt pretty dumpy and despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Joanne said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!” It felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. I worked in a zombie like fashion until about one o’clock, when Joanne knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your Birthday, why don’t we go out for lunch, just you and me.” I said, “Thanks, Joanne, that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!”

We went to lunch but not where we’d normally go. Instead she took me to a quiet bistro with a private table. We had a couple of mixed drinks and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Joanne said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day… We don’t have to go right back to the office, do we?” I replied with “I suppose not. What do you have in mind?” She said, “Let’s go to my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”

After arriving at her apartment, Joanne turned to me and said, “Boss if you don’t mind, I’m goinna to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.” “Ok.” I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake…

Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends, and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.

And I just sat there…

On the couch…

Naked.

The Ugly Brother

A : Hey, just look at that ugly guy over there. Oh my god, he is so ugly I regretted looking at him.
Why did you invite him to your birthday party in the first place? You like ugly people?


B : [Getting angry] Watch your words! He is my BROTHER you know?


A : Ya hor! I'm very sorry. I just noticed that he really looks like your brother. You two really look
alike.

Wei Kwang is a noob =P

Wei Kwang sits beside me

1 day, he took my white eraser and wrote something on it

then he show it to me

on my eraser it wrote

TANZY
is a norvice


i laughed and let everyone else look at my eraser to share the joy

den only WK realise that he spelt it wrongly

den like a childish boy he snatched the eraser and cancel the norvice and add the word noob below it.

Home-Fix Blunders

Went to 1U not too long ago and went into Home-Fix where they tend to 'accidently' create humour to keep customers entertained....see for yourself



First , there was the broken english at the counter area...

We ARE not accept any damage note



Then there was the credit card verification notice...



We APOLOGIES for any inconvenience caused...





Ok , maybe not so funny , so here's the FUNNY ones

This one got me confused , seriously confused...

Aluminium Handle for sale

Handle 'not' for sale ?

Then the best was this instruction on how to use sticky tapes...

Note that step 1 initially says: Hand must be greasy , before the staff added a NOT in between

Jie Xian : The Most Shocking Happening The Megamall Parking Lot

This is a true story that really happened to me. It's not a joke but I want to tell you what had happened.

It was just another day in Megamall during the holidays when we went back to our parking lot. We soon realised that it was not just another day at Mid Valley.

A different car was there instead of ours.

The thing is, this time, I was positive we had parked our car there. This time, i made a mental note on where we had parked. It was definitely the second row from the right after exiting the Ticket Payment Area (or whatever it is called, I don't know) and it was in the 'C' area and about a mere 10 metres away from the Ticket Payment Area.

I asked my elder brother, who was the only person with me (he is the one who is driving). He, too was sure about the parking lot.

I didn't know who would want to steal our 10 year old Proton Satria. Maybe it was just for the parking lot? That didn't make sense.

We searched frantically among the other rows of parking lots while constantly pressing the lock/unlock button on the car keys, listening closely for a whisper of the clicking sound of the alarm, scanning thoroughly for a hint of the white Proton Satria. But I did not expect to find it at all because I was so positive that it was in the second row. I knew that looking anywhere else was a waste of time. But we were ran out of options.

After 20 minutes, we finally accepted the fact that it was missing, probably stolen. We were helpless. He needed the car to go to college tomorrow. I was thinking about lodging a report to the police. My brother got himself ready for a scolding and phoned our mother to infrom her of the bad news.





We learnt a very valuable lesson that day :

If you can't find your car, maybe you were looking for in in the wrong place.


My mother's first reaction when my brother told her the bad news was : "Did you check P2?"

We were very relieved when we went one floor down from P1 and found our car in P2. It was exactly where we knew it was : The second row from the right, 10 metres away.

Random joke

Three Chinese brothers, Bu, Chu, and Fu, want to illegally live in America. The brothers decide to change their names to seem American. Bu changes his name to Buck. Chu changes his name to Chuck. And Fu got sent back to China.

Choi San Yeh

one day, a guy met Choi San Yeh (chinese money god).

So, he quickly approach Choi San Yeh and ask

"10 million years, how long is it to you ?"

Choi San Yeh reply "it's feels only like a second to me"

then, this guy ask again

"10 million ringgit, how much is it to you ?"

Choi San Yeh reply "10 million ringgit is only 1 cent to me"

then the guy say " since it's so small to you, can you spare me ur 1 cent ?"

Choi San Yeh reply " Sure, no problem at all, just wait a second"

Tanzy : Levitation

Want To Get Into The University of Cambridge or Oxford? 要欲上剑桥牛津?

I came across this newspaper article a few years ago and used it for my 剪报, and i've found it back recently. Its really interesting, in my opinion.

Click and enlarge this image to read it

Here's the questions. Click and enlarge this image to read it.

Translation for the 2nd picture :

The following is some of the strange yet very interesting questions :


-This is a tree bark. Please discuss about the tree bark. (The University of Oxford Biology Department)

-Are you cool? (The University of Oxford Philosophy Department)

-Why can't you light a candle on a spaceship? (The University of Oxford Physics Department)

-Can you write out an equation, proving that Maths is a very useful subject? (The University of Oxford Mathematics Department)

-If money cannot make people happy, then why must we promote economic growth? (The University of Cambridge Economics Department)

-If a man crashes into an electrical pole, how will it affect the entire community? (The University of Cambridge Law Department)

-If I hang a paintingon the outside wall of your house, then who owns this painting? (The University of Cambridge Law Department)

-How do you define baldness? (The University of Oxford Psychology Department)

-Why plants don't have brains? (The University of Cambridge Veterinary Department)

-Do you think I look like a camera? (The University of Cambridge Art Department)

-If humans dissapear from Earth, will Jesus return? (The University of Cambridge Theology Department)

-Will good liars make good lawyers? (The University of Cambridge Law Department)

-Tell me something about bananas. (The University of Cambridge Medicine Department)

-When will boring essays be accepted? (The University of Oxford French Language and Russian Language Department)

-Is the moon made of cheese? (The University of Cambridge Department of Veterinary Department)

-In ancient times, how do people know that 2 + 2 = 4? (The University of Oxford Philosophy)

-If fear is something that will hurt us, that why must we be afraid of spiders? (The University of Oxford Department of Classical Literature)

-What is the converstation between Jesus and Buddha when they meet? (The University of Oxford Classical Department of Religion)

Later I'll translate the 1st one.

To my friends who enjoy a glass of beer or wine.. And those who don't..

As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
in beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria. Very wise man, this Ben guy.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli (E. Coli bacteria) found in faeces.

In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of of human and animal shit.However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, Whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = shit, ...........Beer and wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink beer and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.






There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:
I'm doing it as a public service.

Holy Shat ! 500 bucks if you can play like him

Guitar Player , credits to ken again for finding this

Best Ever Robot Dance ! Robert Muraine

Credits to Ken for finding this...

Do Not Miss 4:29 onwards [3:30+ to 4:28 = judges talk]

Leo's Reason For Having LaLa Clothes

Shaun asked him why he doesn't buy his clothes from Giordano instead. (Shaun wants Leo to be less of a LaLa by buying what he himself wears).



Leo said :

"Got Giordano, but all the Giordano at my grandfather's house. Everytime I want to buy Giordano shirt my grandfather will stop me."


















"Only he can wear Giordano"

Good Compilation of funny Vids

ENjoy !

The Teacher's Response To Suicide

This is a true story.

Someone (Name withheld) was whining, "I want to kill myself la. I can't continue living this life anymore."



The teacher heard him and said out loudly :


"You want to commit suicide ah . . .















You beter go outside ah, I tell you!

Sequel - Kar Jun's Spyware Solution

Fascinated by Kar Jun's ' Wide Knowledge ' of handling virus during his ' Teachings ' to Teck Huat , I asked him the method of dealing with spyware's and got a few solutions..here's how it went literally...





" Kar Jun , how do you clear spywares in your com ? Spywares dont need to Puasa i think. "



" Oh , very easy one mah , u can put a SPYDERMAN there to catch all the spies mah "


" OMG , great solution huh ?! "


" Or you can put the TOTALLY SPY's there to kill the spies also mah "


{ speechless , i stare at him }
and came the finale.......




" Or you can pour curry inside the computer then too SPYCY then they die lo ! "

Is this gonna take long ?

"You have to either puke or laught at it" Mike Rowe

Pang : The Psychologist

Pang mentioned that his ambition is to be a psychologist!

Of course, we were against it right away.

I doubted his ability to discipline himself to study that much. Shaun, Tanzy and Matthew agreed that Pang will only worsen the already terrible mental state his patient is in.

"You will tell the fella to go and die lah." Shaun said.

"Ya, then you dont need any medicine at all. Cause the prescription for every patient is the same - 'Kill Yourself' "

Pang liked the idea. "Yala then I can tell all my patients to kill themselves and charge them consultation fee some more!"

"I'll tell all my patients that they are stupid and miserable. It's reverse psychology ma."


This is what his business card will look like if this sadist manifests.















We can only hope that he may not succeed or chooses a different career path. But that is uncertain.

What I'm certain, for now, is that no one will ever dare to visit Pang in the future after reading this

Handicap Part 2

We asked Wei Kwang :

Q: 什么动物天生残废？











Then Shaun asnwered : "Foong Jing Xian!"

We were smiling at him after giving the "not funny" look. But suddenly the entire atmosphere changed when -









Out of nowhere, Loke Voon Ho started laughing hysterically. He was laughing his ass off. We couldn't stand his cruelty anymore and joined him.



To Foong Jing Xian :

No offence, Foong. It's just a joke. It may be true, it may be not, but what im sure of that it is a joke. We didn't laugh at you. At first.

handicap

Q: 什么东西天生残废？










A: 龙虾 (聋瞎)




*from Kenny Ng

Low quality post -_-

Question : You are in a boat in the middle of a river.
You have 2 Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette.
You don't have anything else with you in the boat.


How will you do it?


Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water.
So the boat will become LIGHTER........
using this LIGHTER you can light up the other Cigarette





Q: What is green and says "Im a frog."

A: A talking frog !

The La La Salesman

My father told us :

When we went to the furniture shop just now, there was this salesman who made me feel like not buying our furniture from there. When we went in, he introduced himself, he said, "I am Mr. Liew" (Wah, action!)

Later, when i found a nice sofa and asked him, "Can you give me some discount for this?"

He say, "This one already got 20% discount"

Then i said, "Can you give me more discount?"
























He told me, "Nevermind. You tell me your budget lah. I'll find another sofa for you."

Ze B'day Bash !

Since last year , we have never forgotten or rather more , LET GO of someone's birthday , everytime , we have a BIRTHDAY BASH for them as we are all very good and sincere friends , last week was Wei Kawng's turn for his Birthday Bash after we had futsal in the morning ... enJOY ! ( Very blurry and messy , but you'll be able to see Wei Kwang in his undies , watch at your own risk )

Japanese Toilet Training for Kids

Notice how the BOY pisses while sitting down

Kar Jun & Teck Huat : How To Destroy the Virus in You Computer Part 1 & 2

26/7 : Part 2 updated


Firstly, i woud like to say that Teck Huat is the quiet type and Kar Jun is the 1st or 2nd in the whole form.


I only heard the convo halfway.


Kar Jun :

You don't on the computer for one month will die or not? I tell you ah . . . you off your computer for one month the virus sure die. Beause they got no food to eat!


Teck Huat :

But the virus can puasa (fast) . . .


Kar Jun :

Nevermind. Then you off it for 1 year lah. Then the virus will die from malnutrition. Like beri-beri ah . . . marasmus ah . . . rickets ah . . .



Part 2 : The Following Day



Kar Jun :

Are you sure 1 antivirus is good enough? Work 24 hours a day. . Somemore no bonus.


Teck Huat :

My antivirus software (BitDefender) got win ICSA award . . .


Kar Jun :

1 where got enough? Should at least have 2 --- One morning shift one night shift. If he want to go shopping then how?


Teck Huat :

Antivirus how to go shopping . . .



















Kar Jun :

Neh --- Got eBay ma.

Q: Why cant the skeleton go to the school's prom ??

A: Because he have no-body to go with.





Q: Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side?

A: He's all-right now




I went to the butcher's yesterday, and bet him fifty dollars that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf.

He said, 'no, the steaks are too high."

Joy at the Chinese Class 2

It was the holidays and we were to go back to school for extra classes.

Our teacher brought some tea for us to drink. Then a teacher walked past our class and our teacher offered her some tea.


She said : "Wah, very delicious ah . . . What type of tea is this? Chinese tea?"


Our teacher replied : "No,



















Taiwan tea."


=====


You'll need to understand Bahasa Melayu and Mandarin for this next one.


During Chinese class, Johnny suddenly asked everyone : "Who is anak emas here?"


















哈哈! 你是'金'子!

Technology and Ian's question

Yesterday in school , during eanligh period , we were asked to do an essay exercise which offered 5 titles to choose from and one of it was...

' Technology is making man lazy. Discuss '




Then I heard Ian telling Ryan who were both sitting at the back of me " Why technology making man lazy ? Why man only ? Woman won't get lazy ah ? "

Shaun : I'm Sorry

It wad a really hot day in school and everyone was sweating.


Me : It's so HOT today!


Shaun [pats me on the back] : "I'm sorry"

Fastest Guitar Play - Flight of the Bumblebee

Big Big Blunders : Johnny Ho (Plus an extra bonus = Ho ho ho)

A group of boys were teasing each other. Halfway through, this happened.


A : "Your brain proess so slow."

B : "But my brain is Pentium 5."

A : "So what . . My brain Pentium 6."

Johnny Ho : "Mine is Vista!"




On an unrelated topic,

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,311797,00.html

Here's an extract :

SYDNEY,Australia — He is an unlikely revolutionary, but this Christmas, Santa is a rebel with a claus.

He is having the last laugh on political correctness — and it's a great big fat belly laugh.

Santas across Sydney, Australia, are rebelling against attempts to ban their traditional greeting of "ho, ho, ho" in favor of "ha, ha, ha."

Recruitment firm Westaff — which supplies hundreds of Santas across the country — has told its trainees that the "ho ho ho" phrase could frighten children and could even be derogatory to women.

Two Santa hopefuls reportedly quit the course because of the hullabaloo of the ho, ho, ho.

One would-be Santa has told The Daily Telegraph he was taught not to use "ho, ho, ho" because it was too close to the American slang for prostitute. He also quit.

"Gimme a break," said Julie Gale, who runs a campaign against sexualizing children called Kids Free 2B Kids. "We are talking about little kids who do not understand that 'ho, ho, ho' has any other connotation, and nor should they."

"Leave Santa alone," she added.

Westfield's Santas are recruited and trained by RegProm Marketing and they will be "ho, ho, ho-ing," a Westfield spokeswoman said.

"Part of our advice to our Santas is that they should be mindful of children having their first Santa experience," she added. "We ask our Santas to try techniques such as lowering their tone of voice and using 'ha, ha, ha' to encourage the children to come forward and meet Santa. We wish you and your family a very merry Christmas."

LOL WTH??

For some who may not know, "ho" is a slang for whore.

Big Chicken, Small Chicken

One day, Ali went to a restaurant and ordered a Chicken Chop


When his Chicken Chop was served, he was shocked at it's size.

He called the waiter and complained:

" Why this chicken so small, yesterday I ordered the same thing but it was two times bigger than this."


The waiter ask : Where did you seat yesterday ?

Ali : There, right beside the window. But wad does it got to do with the size of the chicken.


Waiter : Of course it does. Our manager told us to serve big portions to customer that seat beside the window, so that passer-bys can see.

17+ Jokes (read at your own risk)

*Disclaimer - Not my jokes , its funny and therefore posted here as an obscene label/section has already been set-up , if you find these jokes offensive for any reason , please let me know so I can remove it , DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SOMEONE OF PURITY LIKE PANG YOKE FEI *







John is engaged to Sara , finally the day came when John finally got to go to Sara's house and meet the family. When John first walked in to the house , he noticed Sara's SUPER HOT sister Lilly. Through out the night , Lilly was staring at John and John was not at all oblivious to this but pretended like he didn't know.


This went on for 2 months before John and Sara decided to get married. Two days before the marriage , John went over to Sara's house for the final checks on the wedding plans. Upon reaching the house , John went up to the door and knocked and was greeted by Lilly , Lilly invited him in and said " My whole family are out with Sara getting her ready for the big day and will be back in two hours , its just you and me now " .



John then said " No worries , I'll sit here and read te papers until they come home " and went over to the sofa and sat. 5 minutes later , Lilly went up to John , and ran her hand over his shoulders and said , " If you need anything , I'll be in my room , and just so you know , I find you very attractive and would do anything for you " and then went upstairs.


John sat there for 2 minutes before standing up and walking to the main door and went out towards his car where upon exiting the house , he saw his father-in-law walking towards him . His father-in-law cried and hugged John and said " Well done my son , you have passed our family's loyalty test towards my daughter Sara , it was a very wise choice for you to walk out of the house and not give in to lust , welcome to the family " .


John and Sara got married and lived happily ever after.


What's the moral of the story ?
Keep your condoms in your car !













It was a fine day in Superhero land , Superman was flying around the neighbourhood scouting for baddies when he suddenly flew across an apartment and noticed through one of the open windows that Wonder Woman was lying on her bed without any clothes on and since he always had a thing for Wonder Woman , he used his lightning speed and flew in and satisfied himself and flew out and away all in less then 2 seconds

Meanwhile , Wonder Woman did not have a clue what just happened although she noticed something different and asked " What just happened ? "










A voice came out " Some gay b******d just sodomised me ! "
It was Invinsible man who was all the while on top of wonder woman !

Funny Emoticon Combos - Brought to life

Here's a list of emoticons we are using to make our combos :






Look what they have made it into :

(Not sure who, could've been Ian, Ken Chang or Lester or someone else.)








And look what Tanzy (his is the 1st one) and I did :











Here's a candid shot we had when Shaun called Wei Kwang and he turned around only to see the camera pointed at him :















But nothing beats Lester's and Tun Hong's creativity.

Ahaha! Got aura somemore!

Plus, they even took the time to write down our blog url!

Originally there were only "auras"(reflections) below his hand. But thanks to Photoshop magic and a bit of patience . . .

The Funniest Moral Class So Far

This is a big case of unintentional (intentional) insults

The teacher come it 15 minutes late. This was very unlike her. She was never late nor did she ever missed a class.



Teacher :


Maaf, hari ini cikgu masuk lewat kerana terpaksa menghadiri ceramah.

Sorry, today I am late for class because I had to attend a lecture.



Tanzy [answered back like a true hooligan]:


Cikgu diampunkan.

You are forgiven.



Later she scolded the class for doing badly in the mid term exams.



Teacher :


Kamu ini bukan binatang, kamu boleh faham bahasa, binatang tak boleh.
Kamu ada makan kayu tak?

You all are not animals. You all can understand language(English). Animals can't.
Do YOU eat wood?



(Was she implying that animals eat wood?)



Later, she continued :

I always tell myself. You, 5 K (5K class), are not retarded. Macam Foong . . . . . . pun

I always tell myself. You, 5 K (5K class), are not retarded. Even Foong . . . . . . isn't.



Finally, she 'apologised' to us :

Saya tadi bukan marah, bagi contoh sahaja.

I wasn't scolding just now, only giving examples.

Lee Meng : The 1.2 Million House

(This happened a long time ago so i've forgotten most of the details. But the main priceless detail remains fresh in my mind.)


We were walking with Ah Meng up a hill, towards his residential area.



Ah Meng pointed to a house and started commenting :


"I tell you ah this house is VERY BIG. In a gated commuity some more. Got nice view. You guess selling for how much?

It is worth 1.2 million you know? (Thats 6 zeros man) So expensive!



So I told him :

Why don't you buy it and stay there if it's so good?



Ah Meng :

"It is not for sale now.

But sometimes they throw rubbish into the empty land behind the house."




I admit. I was impressed. But I wondered how he knew about the rubbish.














5 minutes later Ah Meng into that VERY SAME house he was talking about. It's his.

I thought again about throwing rubbish into the empty land . . .

Physics

Q 5(b) Does the object continue to move after i comes to rest ? If yes, how high will it go up the slope before it comes to rest.


A : No. There is an elephant in the way.


HAhah
the student got frustrated after answering halfway and comes up with a brilliant idea.
I give him full marks if I'm his teacher. Elephant is cute too.

Ask Dogbert - Part 1

Ask Dogbert
============

Dogbert answers your tough questions with tough love.

============

Dear Dogbert,

Who should I vote for in the presidential election?

Dwayne


Dear Drain,

Your vote only helps if you are smarter than the average voter. In other words, the country will be okay if you sit this one out.

Sincerely,


Dogbert

============

Dear Dogbert,

How can I quickly lose 20 pounds of ugly fat?

Craig


Dear Crud,

Try cutting off your head. Yes, I know it’s an old joke. But that doesn’t make it bad advice.


Sincerely,


Dogbert

============

Dear Dogbert,

How can I make money off of this whole global warming thing?

Albert


Dear Allbutt,

Try buying life insurance and standing neck-deep in the ocean.

Sincerely,


Dogbert

============

Dear Dogbert,

There's a girl I like that probably doesn't like me. There's another girl that likes me a lot, but I only like her a little. Assuming they are both relatively attractive, which should I go for?

Tim


Dear Tomb,

The one who likes you obviously has some perception problems. That sort of thing doesn't get better. Go for the one who probably doesn't like you and hope you get lucky and hit a window where she wants to get revenge on her ex.

Sincerely,


Dogbert

Custard ?

Sardarji is at a feast arranged by the Queen of England.


One of the dignitaries present requests the Queen, "Pass the Wine you Divine !".


Sardarji thought - "How poetic and intelligent!".

Sardarji doesn't want to be left out, so, he also wants to say a rhyming sentence.

After thinking awhile,
he asks the British ambassador sitting next to him,


"Pass the custard you bastard".

Black sheep...

A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science. One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!" The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion." The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about that white child."

Ungliest Woman

Three men were waiting at Heaven's Gate. God says, "OK, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women in the universe."

So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Poof ! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen. The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Poof ! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe.

So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man. The first two guys say in unison, "How did you land with that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women?" He nudges the babe and says, "Tell them."


She says to the first two guys, "I lied."

The Dilbert Newsletter 68.0 - Part 1

TRUE TALES OF INDUHVIDUALS
===========================

Here are some true tales of people who put the duh in induhvidual.



"Locally we have a grocery chain called Bi-Lo. We were sitting around the office one day talking about living on farms and drinking milk from the cows.

One girl said she wouldn't drink milk from a cow, only milk from Bi-Lo. The stunned silence was deafening."



"My business partner and his wife were traveling out west and decided to visit Hoover Dam.
As they neared this great engineering feat she noticed all the power lines extending from the dam and commented to him, 'Gee, I never would have guessed it takes so much power to run a dam."

Chee Foong : Joker - Part 2

Johnny : Weh! Joker from Batman die already you know!


Chee Foong : How you knew he died? HE TELL YOU AH?

Foo - Joker (Batman)

Today in physics class , Wei han asked " How did the actor for The Joker of the new batman movie die (heath ledger) ?




Foo , not knowing how said " He act as Joker create too much jokes laugh die "

Sadarji : "Racist? Serve Him Right!"

2 Sadarjis were having their holidays in Malaysia. B went into a souvenir shop and came out right away. So A was confused.



A : Why did you walk out of the shop right after you went in?


B : That shopkeeper is a racist! Right after I stepped into his shop, he had to close it. I better buy my souvenirs from the other shop over there insted of from this racist.


A : Are you sure he closed right after you entered?


B : Yes! I remember. When I went in the shop there's a sign hanging on the door that says 'Open'. After I went in for 3 seconds and turned around, I saw the 'Closed' sign instead. WTH, he change the sign so fast, I didn't even notice.


A : You did the right thing. Serve him right for being a racist!

Criminals

<_kr4m3r> : So many f**ucking criminals, its bullshit



foniks`> : heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die

foniks`> : and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"

foniks`> : what'd u think they'd say?
















foszor[bg]> : something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"

Archers

Once upon a time, there was an archery contest.

The first archer, wearing a cape covering his face, lines up in position…

He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow, which finds the center of the target.
Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM…… WILLIAM TELL!!! The crowd cheers!

The second archer with a long cape lines up in position.He fires his arrow, which hits the center and cuts WILLIAM TELLS’s arrow into two!!!He takes off his cape and screams: I AM……ROBIN HOOD!!!!! The crowd cheers!!

Finally, the third archer in cape lines up in position…

He fires his arrow!! It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!!

Then the man takes off his cape and screams:


"I AM…… SORRY."

IQ Question! Test Your IQ Here Right Now!

I came up with an IQ question all by myself! Here it is :

"Find the suitable word that comes next in the series."

For Example,

1. Big
2. Bigger
3. ???

The superlative of big is biggest. It's easy. Just add a "-est" behind the word.

The real question will be more challenging.







Here's the real question :




"Find the suitable word that comes next in the series."

1. Pin
2. Pinner
3. ???

What's comes next?


(Remember to say it out aloud to make it easier to obtain an accurate answer!)


You thinking what i'm thinking? *wink* *wink*







PS : It came to my mind when the physics teacher repeated "Thinnest copper wire" a few times, stressing on the word "Thinnest" , "Thinnest", "Thinnest". =D

Voon Ho : 唐诗

Our Chinese language teacher was asking us :


"什么是唐诗的特征?"

"What is the speciality/features of Tang Dynasty poetry?"


(For example, it should be "有押韵/rhymes")





Smart Voon Ho answered:

"很甜"

"Very Sweet"

("Tang" sounds the same as sugar in Chinese)

Shuffler vs Breakdancer : The Series

11/7

Look what i've found on Youtube! AHAHA another angle and a high quality version of The Comedy!

21/6 :

Part 3 : The Parody is ready!!!


18/6 :

Shufflers and breakdancers from Class 5 Kensett displaying their talent on Teachers' Day.

This took about 10-11 hours altogether. ';.;' Seriously. Cause i don't know anything.

When i told Shaun about this, Shaun said : "Good! You're dedicated to Der Book." =.=

PS : Part 2 is waaay better






Shuffler vs Breakdancer : Part 1/2






Shuffler vs Breakdancer Part 2/2





Shuffler vs Breakdancer Part 3 : The Parody




Isn't it supposed to be Part 3/2, you may think. But it doesn't exist. Unles you failed your maths like Ryan did, last time. =D.


Another angle + High quality version of The Comedy!




Please give me some comments / ratings on Youtube!

Btw, there's a comment on Part 2 :

duccyz :

This is terrible man wtf is with the breaker =="
u do relise that u cant battle with 2 different styles=="

buh the first shuffler from part one was FUNNY MAN its so bad i feel sorry for him

My First Time in a Lighting Shop : Maruzen

Wow.

I've just been to a lighting shop for the first time in my life and what I will be seeing later was totally unexpected and out of this world.





Wah . . so many types of lamps. But those are not all. there's also the :

"Casper Lamp"



"Candle-Lamp"



Duno what lamp is this ._.



This one looks more like a toilet bowl~






They even have lamps that belong in a castle

That's not all. They also sell many Chinese stuff , like :

Guy with the calmest expression ever

How you doin' ? - Joey Tribiani

Even got Matthew Ooi!



Also got Emo Shaun!

However, there's one particular lamp I've spotted that is above the rest - A toilet lamp.


It's so good that I will not hesitate to buy it for any hot chick to put in her toilet.

You know, to admire the lamp while having a relaxing bath or shower.


The strange thing is that looks so normal, unexpensive, simple, unelegant mosy importantly, forgettable for a lamp which is to be given to a hot chick.


Why in the world would I want such a lamp? You will know why after I've shown it to you :





Without further ado, here is The Lamp :D

Can you see it?

Can you see the best toilet lamp ever?

No? I'll give you another angle.

How about now?

Spotted THE BEST toilet lamp ever?














Let me point it out to you then.








.








.









.

:D :P =D =P XD XP

Ahahaha!

Lame Jokes Time...

Where cant a fish move because it has no more power ?



IKANO POWER CENTRE
(Ikan no power centre)

Why is Osama two-thirds (2/3) of a woman ?

Because he is a WanTed man (1/3)

Parking Fine

Ah Beng went to his car and saw a "Parking Fine" ticket.


Then he wrote "thanks for the compliment" behind the ticket and stick it at a pole.




enJOYing Sunday

Husband: Today is Sunday and I've decided to enjoy it. So, I brought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why 3 tickets ??

Husband: 1 for you and 2 for your parents.



What Sex

One Sardar was filling up an application form for a job.
He filled the columns for NAMES, AGE, ADDRESS and etc.

Then the column SEX.
He wasn't sure what to write there. After much thinking he wrote TWICE A WEEK.

Someone saw what he wrote in the form and told him he was wrong, and he should fill in either male or female.

Again the sardar thought for a long time before writing BOTH, BUT PREFERABLY FEMALE.

A Video I Found In My Teacher's Thumbdrive : Funny Babies and Children !!!

When I opened my teacher's thumbdrive originally given to me to help her do work, look what I've stumbled upon :



The ending is the best!!!







Thank Pn Chong SL for the vid she "gave" me. AHAHAHAHA!

A must Watch , AMAZING BRICK BREAKING , watch till the end !

Illiterate ?

illiterate is better than being dumb

Voon Ho : Family Day

We were bickering on what we should sell on the upcoming Family Day.


Someone suggested that we sell Choclate Cakes.




Then Voon Ho said :


"You can MAKE you own one"

Leo = Man of Steel

We were outside the Pavillion GSC after a movie and was talking while leaning on the railing when suddenly Leo realised he had **** of steel !

O yea , lazy to make to post , so here's another , saw this in a ' PAN MEEN ' shop near Bukit Segar......Anyone wants to try the french ? fried...

authors + joyees SUBWAY ONE-FOOTER + double meat DAY !

We had been planning it for a whole week and last Saturday after MBSSKL's Family Day .... Finally , we got to get a go at THE DREAM SUBWAY SANDWICH which is ONE-FOOT or 12 inches in length and also DOUBLE THE MEAT !



Well , Lester and Tanzy each got a ONE-FOOT plus DOUBLE MEAT B.M.T sandwich , I got a ONE-FOOT plus DOUBLE MEAT Terriyaki sandwich , Jie Xian and Wei Kwang shared a ONE-FOOT plus DOUBLE MEAT I forgot what sandwich , meld i think and Leo Wen Pul only ate a 6-incher and has regretted and wanting to try the ONE-FOOTER ever since.





Here's 3 out of 4 of the ONE-FOOTER's...





Here's Tanzy's sandwich....






My sandwich.....

All 4 ONE-FOOTER's...

Another....

Lester , getting high while taking the first bite into his first portion of teh ONE-FOOTER...

Jie Xian and Leo tucking in...

Wei Kwang getting all ' Godzilla'ed ' eating his first ever Subway sandwich.....

Tanzy starting his quest to finish the FOOT-LONG....

Me starting mine.....

Only mine wasn't cut into half cause i requested , so here's the whole in my hand...

Jie Xian tends to be quite fussy about what he wants in food , so thus , probably SUBWAY's MOST PECULIAR LOOKING SANDWICH EVER was born because he was so fussy about what he wanted , no veggies and like x8 olives....

Does this look appetising ?....

Then Jie Xian took out a stash of OTAK-OTAK that he bought from the family day as he had too much coupon courtesy of his mom wanting to donate a hundred bucks to the school(he sold 20bucks of coupons to Wei Kwang for ten and ended up having to think of ways to finish 80bucks in a couple of hours) , so there , his stash of 60 otak-otaks which he was kind enough to share a couple with us but then kept the rest for his family.....

BTW , he put ALL THOSE OTAK's in his bag and when he opened his bag , the smell of otak-otak's literally filled the whole SUBWAY joint and the sheet of paper in his bag was all wet from the steam from the otak's...

O YES , we did leave a hurricane of a mess behind...




In the end , Lester finished his Sandwich in GODLIKE speed and didn't look too full at all and I finished mine like 10 minutes later while Tanzy ate only a little more than half of it and couldnt continue so he finished it later in the cinema while watching Hancock ...

So there you are , the ONE-FOOTER adventure , if you are interested in going on a ONE-FOOTER challege / adventure yourselves , please do invite us too :D especially Leo who was talking about wanting it today for the whole day.